Friendship is one of the most valuable relationships in the world.  We are told in God's word "A friend loves at all times...." (Proverbs 17:17a).  At all times?  I have questioned that adjective more than once, and never have I questioned it more than in my marriage.  The most difficult friendship to maintain is the one you have to face nearly twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.  But at the same time it should be the most intimate relationship you have.  It is rather impossible to not know someone intimately when you are waking up next to him with morning breath and surviving the time period between stepping out of bed and the first cup of coffee.  Yet so many times the friendship in marriage seems to disappear.  It gets buried in the day to day drudgery of work, carpools, children, and chores.  You spend a lot of time talking to your spouse rather than with him.  Your conversations are filled with schedules and appointments that need to be met, discipline issues that necessitate action, and finances, finances, finances.  There is no time to develop a fondness for the other's qualities or mind, and if you are not spiritually growing as a couple, there never will be.  Then one day after ten plus years of marriage, children, and a mortgage you may find you are sitting across the table from a stranger who occasionally provides physical comfort and shares the family's responsibilities.  Does this sound familiar?  Perhaps, perhaps not; but that was my story.  So much for loving at all times.  Heck, I was struggling to like at any times.

Friendship requires respect, and so often our problems with honoring others stem from our lack of self-respects.  Self-respect requires understanding your value in God's eyes.  Do you know without a shadow of doubt God values you?  You may think, "Yea, great!  But you don't know the things I've done.  You don't know how I struggle with anger or bitterness or self-control.  You don't see the things lurking in my past.  So, that's easy for you to say.  I'm a stay-at-home mom or under appreciated employee.  I feel so de-valued!"  Guess what.  I have said all of those things.  I struggle with anger control; it is a horrible demon that God has to help me battle daily, and sometimes I lose.  I have been bitter.  I have a past that causes me to shudder in shame anytime I recall it.  I am a stay-at-home mom and have been for 17 years.  Trust me, there have been days when I have really struggled to see the value in changing diaper after diaper, cooking, cleaning, and lending my talents as a full time taxi service.  I put my education on hold in order to home educate my children, which some may think is admirable; however, in a community of women with post-graduate degrees and flourishing careers, I feel inadequate.  No one is more flawed than I am.  Nonetheless, God still values me just as He values you.  Once you realize this, respecting others becomes easy.

Do you find your lack of respect for others is rooted in insecurity?  If so, go to the One who will always love and value you.  Once you realize how precious you are, you can begin healing the friendships in your life which have suffered due to a lack of respect.  You can learn to love at all times once again.