I recently
made a discovery. It was almost like finding hidden treasure in a spot I had
passed a million times before, never seeing it glimmer in the sunlight. Perhaps
the shadows of sorrow had obscured my view. Perhaps it was only recently
deposited there. Whatever the scenario, sometime within the past month I
finally discovered it—healing from the sting of grief.
It’s a funny
thing. While walking through the gloom of despair after Woody’s traumatic
death, I wondered if the sun would ever shine as brightly or if the birds would
ever sing as sweetly. I wondered if the raw ache settled deep within my soul
would ever relinquish its unyielding grip. Recovery seemed so distant, like an
island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean that I must swim to after being
abandoned on the beaches of California, all the while battling a tropical storm.
I could not imagine a life again without sorrow tainting my every experience.
Yet, here I am, finally laughing and living with joy in my heart. Don’t
misunderstand me. It does not mean I do not miss Woody and the life we had
together, but I have learned to survive and thrive without his bright light
shining upon me. I have learned to lean in to God and allow His love and light
to fill my sails as I soar into the future. The constant thud of grief's
relentless hammer has finally been laid to rest and resounds no more.
I still do not
know what my future holds, but I can finally look forward with hope. Who knows
how valuable my little treasure will be or what other discoveries lie waiting
for me, but I do know I will never be alone even when the storm rages and
conceals the sun. God will never forsake me and I will persevere.
“Blessed is the man who perseveres under
trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life
that God has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12, NIV
