El Simchat Gili

El Simchat Gili—God of my exceeding joy

Yet I am feeling broken, beat down, and barely happy.

I am exhausted!

I do not remember what it is to feel exceedingly joyful,

Although I am thankful.

You are a generous, merciful God;

And I have been the recipient of Your grace one too many times

To take Your kindness for granted.

But joyful?

Not today.

Not yesterday.

Not even the day before that. So I set You before me

And hope for tomorrow.

Perhaps then.

Or maybe it will remain obscure to me

Until our family is once again living in the same city.

Possibly, I just need one good night of sleep.

I do not know what will bring exceeding joy back into my grasp,

But I do know that You are the source of my hope

And my happiness.
You are always near

No matter how distant joy may seem at this moment.
I will delight in You
And continue searching.

El Simchat Gili—God of my exceeding joy