Three years and six months. How
is that possible? I remember day one thinking we would not survive. For two
years my heart was scattered and buried under an insurmountable mound of grief.
The possibility of ever feeling whole and healed always dangled from a stick,
but never did I believe we would reach it. And still yet I do not believe the
children have fully held it in their grasp. But we now have it within our
possession and hope is truly on the horizon.
Through it all, God has been just.
I have pondered this truth relentlessly because there were many times within
the past three and a half years I questioned that statement. Then I realized
man’s definition of justice is egocentric and culturally defined. How can we
truly understand justice? It will vary from person to person, and often it is
emotionally laden and outright illogical. I can never truly understand the
greater good when I comprehend what is “good” based on how it affects me. Only
God can determine what is truly just.
And I believe it is God’s perfect
and just purpose that has brought us through the darkness and despair. We have
faced our biggest fear and we have survived and in a way we have been set free
to live boldly, to take risks we never would have taken. We are survivors and
we are stronger and wiser for the experience that devastated us three years and
six months ago.
