Haden turned 15 four months after
Woody’s death. Although he had finally reached the age when he could obtain his
driver’s permit, I was not ready. Teaching the kids to drive had always been
Woody’s responsibility. He had nerves of steel and was extremely laid back
about near misses with mailboxes and vehicles. I had the luxury of waiting
until the kids were relatively proficient at driving before getting in the car with
them as a passenger. Then it was my job to fine tune their skills until they
reached 16 and could test for their provisional driver’s license. I was not
ready to teach Haden. I couldn’t. It was just another reminder of all the
things Haden would miss doing with his dad.
Five months after Haden’s
birthday, after much pleading, I was ready. It was terrifying for me, but
somehow we made it through without me yelling or puking. Only once after he had
pulled out into oncoming traffic nearly causing a collision, did I make him
pull over and let me drive. Six months after he began, I let him drive on the
interstate for the first time. He was nervous. Little did he know, I was
terrified. Yet, I remained calm and encouraged him as we made our way south on
I85. I couldn’t imagine that I would ever quit gripping the arm rest and
praying while he drove us through rush hour traffic. But I did.
This past Friday, Haden was eligible
to take his driving test for his license. Although he had had an instructor
from Taggart’s Driving School work with him on parallel parking and backing
into a parking space, he was terrified that he would fail those two skills on
his test. “Everyone I know has passed it the first time!” he anxiously informed
me.
“So, are you afraid that you’ll
be the first person who doesn’t?” Yes. Haden contacted our youth pastor who was
in between winter retreats with our youth, but he made the time anyways. Dustin
arrived at our house Thursday morning with cones in hand and took Haden to a nearby
parking lot to practice. He offered to help him again in the evening, but Haden
felt at that point he was prepared. Needless to say, he passed with flying
colors. Another milestone without Woody.
I am so proud of Haden. He never
complains about Woody’s absence. He never behaves as if he is unfortunate. He
stays positive in the face of insurmountable loss and trauma. I know that is
God in him. Haden’s faith has remained rock solid throughout all of this, and
God continues to bring people into his life to help him through these moments.
You see, Dustin wasn’t the only man who offered to help Haden. Ryan, a man who
works with our youth ministry, also offered. And truth be told, there were
probably 20 more men in our church who would have gladly stepped in to assist
Haden. I must remember God’s provision when our loss weighs heavily upon my
heart. God will always be there—especially for the milestone moments.
“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy
dwelling.”—Psalm 68:5
