We have felt broken and forgotten. There have been moments when breathing was all we could manage. The pain of loss and trauma threatened to entomb our family in a crypt of cold, unfeeling marble, never to be seen again. We have traveled a road few will ever stumble upon. One therapist told me after reading our case file that in 30 years of practice he has never seen something so traumatic happen to a family. “You can’t make this stuff up,” he told me with a mixture of shock and sympathy. Yes, we have felt broken and forgotten, but mostly we have felt alone—alone to journey through horrific trauma and devastating loss. Yet, we still stand.
Recently, we have had to wade through the ugly consequences of post-traumatic stress disorder once again as we came to terms with a terrible addiction that manifested itself due to the PTSD. This addiction nearly destroyed one of my children. He lost everything that mattered to him, and almost lost his faith. However, God is faithful and provided a godly mentor to pull him back from the edge of annihilation. Our campus pastor, Mark, faithfully reminded my child that God is a god of restoration and redemption. He crawled into the muddy trenches with my child, where it was ugly and messy, and took his hand and pointed him to the beauty of grace and salvation. Mark reminded him that God rescues. Now, over a year after that fateful day, my child is finally healing. He is finally becoming the man God has always purposed him to be. The ashes are slowly being transformed into something beautiful. Now he realizes everything he lost was nothing compared to what he has gained.
We
are still not “through” this. I’m not sure there will ever be an end. No one
can witness what we did without being permanently scarred. However, God is
faithful. He will always rescue us in the midst of our brokenness, and He has
never forgotten. Although we may feel alone as we travel down this road of
life, God has proven time and time again He will never leave us or forsake us.
Therefore, we keep on breathing and even after horrific trauma and devastating
loss we are able to stand.
