Fifteen years of blood, sweat, and tears reduced to a box of memories.  Woody gave his best over and over again, leading the country in sales time and time again.  Vacation after vacation he carried work with him in his back pocket, ready to pull it out in a moment’s notice and make himself available to his employees.  Dedicated, hard-working, relentless were all adjectives used to describe Woody as he exceeded expectations upon every review.  And now all the awards along with framed photos of our family sit in a box upon his desk collecting dust.

Yet, we are hopeful, almost excited, as God begins a new chapter in our lives.  How can we look ahead with joy in the midst of mayhem?  Because we serve a God greater than our circumstances!  We are not fearful nor do we grow faint.  Don’t get me wrong; we know there will be suffering and doubt along the way.  However, we also know that growing sometimes involves pain.  We are looking well into the future—maybe even beyond our time here on this planet—to our final destination.  Nothing can disappoint us or dim the beauty of what we have yet to experience.

“And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”  Romans 5:5 

Shocked, mortified, bewildered doesn't even begin to encompass all I am feeling right now.  And I didn't even take a direct hit.  My husband absorbed the impact of the news we received this morning.  His ego, any shred of confidence he had, has been blown to bits.  He is the type of man who takes his responsibility as a husband and father quite seriously.  He will protect and provide, but at this moment I know he is questioning how he will continue to do so.

What is my role?  What do I say?  I am just as blown away as he is.  I am on my knees begging for answers and the silence is deafening.  However, my faith is not shaken.  I am looking into the future expectantly, wondering what God will do.  How will we grow from this?  What will we gain?  Those are the questions running through my mind searching for a place to settle.  As shocked as we were by the news we received, God was not.  He has a game plan ready to be played.  We need merely to keep our eyes focused on the way which He has prepared for us.

It doesn't mean the pain is any less searing, nor does it mean we will not doubt the way; yet I know without a doubt we will come out ahead.  God always has a better plan.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11

Life Is Exhausting!

Life is exhausting!  If being a wife were not enough to zap the wind from my sails, being a mother is.  I feel like I’m in a row boat on the high seas during a hurricane.  Paddling keeps me afloat and that’s about it.  I am pretty sure “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” did not cover what to expect for the next 18 years while your little bundle of joy grows into a hormonal teenager with an opinion to boot.  Nor did it cover how to keep the romance alive while teenagers roam the house and grow suspicious of any time their parents’ spend alone in the bedroom.  The exclamations of, “That’s gross!” and knocks on the bedroom door really do nothing to add to the ambiance.  I am quite sure that the reason no one has written an in depth book describing what it is like to raise a child from infancy to adulthood, is because if she did, we would fail to "be fruitful and multiply."

Yet, we trudge through the days, some bringing tears while others bring triumph.  We laugh, we cry, and we continue on.  And soon, our oldest child will be off to college and we will be left redecorating his room and trying to fill the void he leaves behind.  We will find more time as a couple to talk about us rather than our children. 

We spent ten to fifteen years in a daze as we developed our children’s character, molded their futures, and helped them develop their passions.  We gave them faith in God and a source for truth.  Occasionally, we would glance to our sides and notice each other there in the dark.  We never thought the light at the end of the tunnel was just that; no, we were certain it was the locomotive that trampled us over every night, leaving fatigued and fighting individuals in the morning.  Now we can clearly see that it was just what so many who had traversed the way before us said it was, hope.

Yes, life is exhausting, but we only have one opportunity to do it right.  In the end we will be rewarded by well-adjusted children who, by the way, will end up traveling down the same road someday.  And I for one can hardly wait to see karma work its way through the next generation.

I have known great longing in life.  I have longed for loyalty, love, and a life of peace.  I have searched in vain for true happiness, only to know disappointment and despair.   When I married, I was sure that my thirst would be quenched—I would finally find fulfilment.  Instead, I felt as if I were standing near the edge of a stream flowing with pure, refreshing water that I was unable to reach.  Instead of finding relief, my desire intensified.

We are broken in so many ways.  We have lost sight of hope.  We do not trust.  We do not love.  We are full of fear.  Searching for contentment, we cling to others or push them away; and still we suffer from scarcity.  We are on the brink of emotional starvation.  How do we extinguish our thirst?

Before we can realize love, loyalty, and a life of peace we have to learn to love self.  We need to recognize our value, and we will never find it through the eyes of another person. Our true worth can only be found through the eyes of our Creator. Believe it or not, everyone was created for a purpose.  God has a plan for each and every person.  In fact, part of that plan involved the greatest sacrifice imaginable—death on a cross in order to grant reconciliation and renewal.  You are precious!  You are worthwhile!  And you are loved!  Once we gain this knowledge, we can truly know intimacy in relationships as God designed.  Intimacy satisfies longing. It brings peace to our troubled souls

What is holding you back?  Where have you been searching in an attempt to find your value?  Where is your hope?  Go to the stream of living water and let your thirst be quenched by the sustaining love of Christ.

“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” Psalm 43:5

I have watched with curiosity while the whole “Duck Dynasty” hoopla has played out.  I still have yet to read the whole article in question in which Phil Robertson is accused of being homophobic and racist.  I have only heard and read snippets of the interview, all taken out of context I am sure.  The Robertson family appears to be a family of strong, biblical faith.  I have seen and heard far more positive coverage of the family than negative.  I am convinced that Mr. Robertson’s comments have been sensationalized and his intent was not to be hateful or hurtful to anyone.

That being said, I would like to address the issue of what he is accused of saying and why I believe as a Christian he should have kept his mouth shut on such matters when being interviewed for a magazine such as GQ.  In Matthew 7, Jesus told his listeners not to give what is sacred to dogs.  GQ magazine is not a Christian publication which targets a Christian population.  Why would someone attempt to define what is “sin” with a periodical that clearly is not concerned with the definition?

Another teaching Jesus gave his followers in Matthew 7, is not to hypocritically judge others.  Why bother cleaning up your neighbor’s minute mess when you have a junk pile in your own back yard which needs to be cleaned up?  Before a Christian sits down and starts condemning homosexuality, he needs to make sure the sins in his own life are not weighing him down.  Romans 1:29-32, gives a comprehensive list:  greed, envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice, gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant, boastful, disobedient to their parents, senseless, faithless, heartless, and ruthless.  I look at this list and realize there is so much work to do in my own life; I do not have the time to go around telling others what sins they need to take care of in their lives.  If someone comes to me and asks for guidance, I am more than happy to point him or her to the One who can help.  Why do we as Christians spend so much time judging the sins in the lives of others rather than nourishing the relationships with which God may bless us?  Instead of pointing to a particular group of sinners (by the way, we are ALL sinners) and saying, “You’re wrong;” we should be introducing them to the One who has the power to redeem everyone from his or her pain and sin and give new beginnings. 

1 Corinthians 5:9-13, makes it quite clear that judging people outside of the church is God’s work, not mine.  My job is to love those who are outside of God’s loving embrace.  Through my love they may very well come to know Him who loves them no matter where they are and who they love.  Perhaps next time Mr. Robertson is interviewed, he will remember all of Christ’s teaching. 

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”  Jesus replied: “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matthew 22:36-39

Fear of being hurt has prevented me from loving many people in my life.  When I became united in marriage with another person, I believed that this fear would magically disappear. I erroneously believed that all the barriers I had constructed around my heart would come crashing down with those two simple words, "I do."  However, the fortress was impenetrable.  I soon found myself feeling alone and miserable inside the prison I had constructed around my heart.  

Then I became a Christian.  "Perhaps now I will know intimacy."  And I threw myself wholeheartedly into a relationship with God, feeling that He alone would fill the void. I soon discovered that although I no longer felt alone, I still sensed an emptiness--a need for companionship which could not be satisfied through my faith.  

Intimacy is impossible to achieve in God alone. When God created man, he immediately recognized that “It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him.”[1]  God knew this because He had created man with the desire to be with someone of the opposite sex. Although Adam had been in perfect communion with God, he had still longed for human companionship.  After God created Eve, Adam’s longing was completely satisfied.  

When I became a Christian, I was convinced that God would complete me, therefore, companionship was unnecessary.   However, a relationship with the opposite sex was created in our being.  It was not until after God created them male and female that He made the observation that all was perfect.  It was not until the fall of man that this desire was distorted and morphed into something quite different than what God designed.  Now, in our sinful state that longing has been replaced or is nonexistent.  I had been searching for fulfillment in God alone, not realizing He had designed me to find complete joy in my marriage. 

My faith brought me to the realization that my fear was preventing me from loving wholly.  God blasted through the barricade and revealed to me how fulfilling marriage can be. Without Him, I would never have bothered to search beyond my faith for intimacy in my relationship with my husband.

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[1] Genesis 2:18

The holiday season is in full swing.  There is still shopping to complete, menus to plan, and cookies to bake; and Christmas is in two days.  Talk about stress!  I feel like a rubber band which has been pulled taut and either I will snap back into place or break, the results are yet to be seen.  What does this have to do with intimacy?  A lot!  

Stress can wreak havoc on a relationship.  Rarely do two people handle tension in the same way.  Some people shut out the world, while others come out swinging.  Even the way in which we maneuver through stressful situations will impact intimacy.  We tend to lash out at those closest to us.  Feelings are wounded, pride prevents apologies, and the friendship which we have tried so hard to preserve flounders in the aftermath.  How do we survive the holiday gloom that somehow replaces the glee?

You have to eliminate pride.  There is no room for it in the realm of a relationship.  It will destroy and devour all that is worthy.  Humility will allow apologies and soothing words to heal the wounds our short tempers will inflict.  How quickly we forget how flawed we are in an attempt to justify our fallen nature!  

Putting things in perspective is another vital tool for surviving the holiday madness.  Why do we celebrate Christmas and a new year's beginning?  To commemorate new life and new beginnings and the gift of grace bestowed upon us over 2,000 years ago.  If decorating, gift-giving, and cooking has taken over your every waking moment, then it is time to sit back and reevaluate exactly what you are celebrating.  Family, friends, and fun should be at the forefront of all you do.  And if you have faith in a merciful, loving God, your first and final thoughts should be consumed with the many undeserved blessings you have received throughout your life, your spouse being one of those blessings.  Where would you be if you did not have a husband and/or children with which to celebrate this special time of the year?  What if you were alone as so many people are without a home, let alone presents to give?  Perspective makes all the difference.

Use this time wisely.  Breathe deeply.  Love completely.  The holiday season will soon end and your relationship will remain intact.

"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."  Proverbs 11:2