Stretched But Not Distorted

The holiday season is upon us, and I for one feel as if I am drowning in a sea of presents which still need to be purchased and cookies which still need to be baked. The house is in disarray and there is a list of tasks which need to be completed so that we can put our house on the market in preparation of moving to another state. We will have house guests for two weeks over Christmas, and the guest room is full of wrapped and unwrapped presents, ribbons, and bows. Throw in one absentee husband and three teenagers and “Presto!”—the perfect recipe for a migraine. Novartis, I will be investing in your company this year. If nothing else, I am doing my fair share to keep your company afloat as I procure as many bottles of Excedrin Migraine as I can safely consume. 

I feel as if I am a rubber band which has reached its elastic limit. Hooke’s law states that when an object is acted upon by a force, it will bend, stretch, or compress.  Once the force is removed, the object will return to its original shape. Elastic will stretch until it has reached its limit. Beyond that, it will be deformed and never return to its original shape. Yes. That is exactly how I feel right now. Stretched and on the brink of being buckled into an unrecognizable version of myself. Yet somehow, another day passes and my sanity is intact. My children are alive. My husband still loves me. How? God.

Without my faith I would flounder. It is my foundation and my strength. It is my sanity and my substance. Instead of panic, I know peace. Also, there is an interesting phenomenon that occurs when a rubber band is stretched—the molecules (polymers) in the rubber become aligned. They themselves are under no stress whatsoever. When the rubber band is at rest, the molecules are tangled with no real order. I am being stretched, but at the same time, my life is becoming aligned with God’s will as I learn to rely on Him during these uncertain, chaotic times.

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, as long as you remember that being stretched can bring order and develop strength. And God will never allow you to be stretched beyond your elastic limit.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4

Fifteen years of blood, sweat, and tears reduced to a box of memories.  Woody gave his best over and over again, leading the country in sales time and time again.  Vacation after vacation he carried work with him in his back pocket, ready to pull it out in a moment’s notice and make himself available to his employees.  Dedicated, hard-working, relentless were all adjectives used to describe Woody as he exceeded expectations upon every review.  And now all the awards along with framed photos of our family sit in a box upon his desk collecting dust.

Yet, we are hopeful, almost excited, as God begins a new chapter in our lives.  How can we look ahead with joy in the midst of mayhem?  Because we serve a God greater than our circumstances!  We are not fearful nor do we grow faint.  Don’t get me wrong; we know there will be suffering and doubt along the way.  However, we also know that growing sometimes involves pain.  We are looking well into the future—maybe even beyond our time here on this planet—to our final destination.  Nothing can disappoint us or dim the beauty of what we have yet to experience.

“And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”  Romans 5:5 

Shocked, mortified, bewildered doesn't even begin to encompass all I am feeling right now.  And I didn't even take a direct hit.  My husband absorbed the impact of the news we received this morning.  His ego, any shred of confidence he had, has been blown to bits.  He is the type of man who takes his responsibility as a husband and father quite seriously.  He will protect and provide, but at this moment I know he is questioning how he will continue to do so.

What is my role?  What do I say?  I am just as blown away as he is.  I am on my knees begging for answers and the silence is deafening.  However, my faith is not shaken.  I am looking into the future expectantly, wondering what God will do.  How will we grow from this?  What will we gain?  Those are the questions running through my mind searching for a place to settle.  As shocked as we were by the news we received, God was not.  He has a game plan ready to be played.  We need merely to keep our eyes focused on the way which He has prepared for us.

It doesn't mean the pain is any less searing, nor does it mean we will not doubt the way; yet I know without a doubt we will come out ahead.  God always has a better plan.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11

The holiday season is in full swing.  There is still shopping to complete, menus to plan, and cookies to bake; and Christmas is in two days.  Talk about stress!  I feel like a rubber band which has been pulled taut and either I will snap back into place or break, the results are yet to be seen.  What does this have to do with intimacy?  A lot!  

Stress can wreak havoc on a relationship.  Rarely do two people handle tension in the same way.  Some people shut out the world, while others come out swinging.  Even the way in which we maneuver through stressful situations will impact intimacy.  We tend to lash out at those closest to us.  Feelings are wounded, pride prevents apologies, and the friendship which we have tried so hard to preserve flounders in the aftermath.  How do we survive the holiday gloom that somehow replaces the glee?

You have to eliminate pride.  There is no room for it in the realm of a relationship.  It will destroy and devour all that is worthy.  Humility will allow apologies and soothing words to heal the wounds our short tempers will inflict.  How quickly we forget how flawed we are in an attempt to justify our fallen nature!  

Putting things in perspective is another vital tool for surviving the holiday madness.  Why do we celebrate Christmas and a new year's beginning?  To commemorate new life and new beginnings and the gift of grace bestowed upon us over 2,000 years ago.  If decorating, gift-giving, and cooking has taken over your every waking moment, then it is time to sit back and reevaluate exactly what you are celebrating.  Family, friends, and fun should be at the forefront of all you do.  And if you have faith in a merciful, loving God, your first and final thoughts should be consumed with the many undeserved blessings you have received throughout your life, your spouse being one of those blessings.  Where would you be if you did not have a husband and/or children with which to celebrate this special time of the year?  What if you were alone as so many people are without a home, let alone presents to give?  Perspective makes all the difference.

Use this time wisely.  Breathe deeply.  Love completely.  The holiday season will soon end and your relationship will remain intact.

"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."  Proverbs 11:2