Dear Beautiful Young Lady,
Developing an exclusive relationship with someone before you are spiritually, emotionally, and financially prepared to commit to marriage is morally wrong. The Bible is very clear that love must be sincere. Strong emotional attachments lead to physical
intimacy which is never condoned by God before marriage. I have seen too many young couples who have become emotionally intimate struggle to keep from becoming physically intimate, a temptation that never would have
been an issue had they remained friends. According to the US Department of Health and Human Services, teens who are dating exclusively are more likely to have sex earlier than teens who do not.
Every time a young person becomes emotionally intimate with another person, she is giving satan ammunition to use against her later in life once she is married and enduring the very real and normal struggles that come
from being married. Satan will bring that person from the past into the present
and start asking, “What if…?” questions. Every attachment provides more
ammunition. Every attachment starts to wear away at the guard rails God put
into place to protect the emotional intimacy in a marriage. Every time you give your heart away, you give
away a part of you that you can never get back. You are stealing all those “firsts”
from your future spouse—first love, first hug, first spark, first kiss. Developing romantic love and loyalty with a
young man is like living out one of the privileges of marriage without the
responsibility of being married. It also tends to quickly move a relationship
toward physical intimacy. Also, shouldn’t that exclusive emotional attachment
be reserved for your future husband?
I am saying all of this because I ask and I pray that you consider the risks of emotional attachments that may or may not lead
to marriage. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is
the wellspring of life.” Guard your heart as you develop any relationship.
Make friendship the goal, not romance. Think of your future spouse at all times
and whether or not you will feel completely comfortable in the future revealing
every aspect of your relationship with him. He should never feel as if he has
lost a part of you to another man. Your heart belongs wholly to him.
I do apologize if I have made you feel uncomfortable in any
way. That is not my intent. My goal is to ensure that
you go into your marriage someday completely pure emotionally and physically. You are building the foundation for intimacy
in your marriage right now. Let that foundation be built on the Rock, by living
out the principles He has placed within His word to allow you success.
Blessings,
Kim
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