Lies. I have believed so many of them throughout my life.
However, the one I am continually deceived by is the one that leads me to
believe that I am in control of everything that happens in my life. Satan has
me so duped! I have believed this particular lie for so long that I have begun
to see it as truth. If only I had been a more obedient child perhaps I would
not have been disciplined so severely. If only I had not been alone with a
certain male family member I would not have been molested. If only I had had more
faith, the children within my womb would have survived. If only I had prayed more fervently, Woody
would not have died. If only.... And I have
believed the great deceivers accusations every time. I have fallen into despair
believing that I will never be good enough or strong enough to be an effective
warrior in God’s army. I have worn the yoke of oppression and have been crushed
under its weight just knowing that I deserved every evil outcome—every strike
against my soul—because I am responsible for causing others around me to sin. I
am responsible when the laws of nature take away my child or my husband. It’s
all on me.
Not anymore! A friend called me this morning to pull back
the curtain and reveal the deceiver behind the deception—to connect the dots,
so to speak. I had no control over my abuse as a child, no more than I had that
fateful Mother’s Day on Mount Yonah. Nothing I could have done would have
changed the outcome. Satan, once again, has pulled out every weapon in his arsenal
in an attempt to attack and destroy my prayer life. He has tricked me into
believing that my relationship with God is damaged and that my communication
has been hindered by a lack of faith. That is not the case. I was not the only
person on or off that mountain that prayed for Woody’s life. We were completely
covered by prayers. Many pleaded for Woody’s life that day. I never thought
Woody would die because although I knew his injuries were life threatening and
that the laws of nature deemed that he should die, I knew my God was big enough
to alter those laws and allow a miracle to occur on our behalf. What I did not
know is that He would say no. That was the day God had chosen to take Woody to
his eternal home. No one could have changed the outcome. This is not on me!
No more lies! I am finished allowing lies to define who I
am. I am a cherished daughter of the King. He is lovingly holding me in His
arms, gently rubbing my back as the sobs rack my body, wiping away the tears.
He has a plan for me far better than any I can imagine. He has not abandoned my
side. He has plucked me up into His arms to carry me through this turbulent
time. That is the truth that needs to resonate through my life. The father of
fabrication has lost this battle. This lie—the one he has deceived me with my
whole life—has been exposed for what it is. From this day forward, God’s truth
will define and liberate me. Finally, I have been freed from this lie.