Creating Beauty from Tragedy

“Don’t wait up for me.” I knew that I would be home after Haley and Haden needed to be in bed; so I was rather surprised when I arrived home at nearly midnight to find Haley’s light peeking out from under her door. I did not say anything but went straight to my room to prepare for bed. Soon, Haley joined me in my bathroom with red-rimmed eyes and a face full of sorrow. “Why aren’t you asleep yet?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“What happened?” I queried.

“You know the white roses I had in a vase on my desk, the ones from daddy’s funeral? Tonight the vase fell over and a lot of the pedals fell off the roses and now they’re so ugly! I cried for nearly an hour. I don’t know why I cried. They’re just dried flowers! I shouldn’t be upset about something stupid like that!”

I looked into her clear blue eyes—eyes that reflected the soul of a wounded child. Loss. She has come to know too much of it. And now something so trivial compared to what she has been through had brought her to her knees. She was broken and unfortunately I had not been there to pick the pieces up off the floor and put them back together. “Oh, sweetheart! They weren’t ‘just flowers.’ They represented daddy and all he meant to you, and when they were damaged it was just more loss that you had to experience when you have already experienced so much. You have every right to your feelings.” I wrapped Haley tightly in my embrace. “You know what?  I will find something that we can do with those petals and broken flowers to make them beautiful again. We will turn this around into something positive.  We will create something beautiful from this tragedy.”

That is what I have been doing since the day Woody died—finding the ways in which God can use our tragedy for good. I mentioned to someone yesterday that all of this is part of the tapestry of our lives. One day it will all be woven together into an exquisite piece of art. What most people do not realize though, is that on the flip side of a tapestry it can look quite chaotic while it is being constructed. And that is where we are—the difficult stage of bringing all of the loose threads together and weaving them into a beautiful story to be told. We are in the messy stage of composition. However, God is the artisan at work behind the scenes, and we know that He makes all things work together for our good.

And the roses? We are working on that, just as God continues to work on us.

Beautiful As You Are

I have shared this post many times. However, I believe it is a message that every woman/girl needs at least once a year. You are beautiful! Do not let the world around you define who you are. We have a great identity crisis in our world. We have let an unseen enemy steal our identities and feed us with lies. What's worse is that we believe the lies! We believe we are not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, talented enough, and the list goes on. If you want to know who you are, read Ephesians 1 or John 16-17. You are empowered and loved by the God of the Universe! You are beautiful just as you are!

“I’m fat!”  She looks in the mirror with loathing.  The image being reflected back to her looks nothing like the image she sees gracing the cover of every fashion magazine at the supermarket.  Her physique isn’t dangerously thin; her complexion isn’t satiny smooth and airbrushed to perfection.  Therefore, in this media driven society, she has come to believe that she is fat and ugly.  And as a woman, we have all stood there with her, believing the lies, hating the image.

The reality?  She is perfect.  She is a healthy weight and refreshingly natural for a growing, adolescent girl.  Yet, one can’t tell her the facts enough that she’ll ever believe them.  She believes what she sees, and the voice of truth passes by her like a soft, summer breeze barely noticeable in the heat of the scorching afternoon sun.  The images burn her soul until her self-confidence lies in a heap of ashes waiting to be carried away with the next gust of wind.

God created a world full of beautiful, diverse things.  No two sunsets are ever the same, yet each one is as breathtaking as the next.  Not once do we stop and say, “No, this one’s not pretty.  Only the one that had the streaks of magenta swirling through the slate blue sky in just the right proportions was beautiful.  That’s what every sunset should look like.  And if it doesn’t, it’s not good enough.  It’s not perfect!”  Instead, we appreciate each sunset for its uniqueness.

Of all the flowers in the world, with their varying shades of color, size, and shape, not once have we taken a pure white, slender rose and photographed it (airbrushing out all its imperfections), and placed it on the cover of every gardening magazine and said, “This is the only flower that has beauty worth having!”  In fact, most horticulturists would tell you that those lovely white roses fade very quickly and are difficult to raise.  It would be more practical to choose something with a more lasting beauty that is hardier.

Why, then, does our society do this to women?  And who gets to choose the ideal?

Daughters of America, do you not realize you are wonderfully and perfectly made by a loving God that recognizes what true beauty is?  You are beautiful because you are different!  Psalm 139:13-14 (NIV) states, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”  Did you get that?  God’s works are wonderful!  You are His work!  You are beautiful!  You are perfect just the way God created you while you were still in your mother’s womb.

It’s time to go to the mirror, look at the reflection, and appreciate the image that you see—another sunset gracing the sky with diversity and delight; a rare flower blooming to perfection.  That’s you!  It’s time to embrace who God created you to be no matter what your color, shape, or size.  Be beautiful, my dear sisters!  God created you that way!

The Subject of My Next Book

I was ready.  Somehow I had managed to become the proud owner of the book, A Year of Health and Beauty by Beverly and Vidal Sassoon.  Within the pages of that book lay the secret to my future success. I would become fit and fabulous. I dedicated myself to the regiment detailed within the pages and knew that within a year’s time, I would be the most popular girl at Burrton High School.  My dishwater blonde hair and braces would vanish and instead I would have golden blond tresses and pearly white teeth radiating from a smiling face full of health and beauty.

It didn’t work. After about six months of self-discipline, exercise, and skipping the Dr. Pepper, I realized that my 98 pound frame which seemed to have an aversion to puberty would never develop into the full bodied beauty which I could clearly see in my mind’s eye.  I was hopeless.  As if to validate the very low opinion I had of my 15 year old self, I was ridiculed mercilessly by classmates and felt invisible to my parents.  I would never be the “it” girl, surrounded by adoring peers hanging onto my every word. No one would ever ask me for my telephone number. “How many times do you have to run through the shower before you get wet?” a male student queried one day. I was the ugly one, the butt of every joke, the girl from the poor family living in the run down trailer. Not even Beverly and Vidal Sassoon could make a beauty out of me.

All my adolescent self wanted was to be loved and accepted, a feeling which I truly believe every young lady desires. I will investigate those feelings in my next book, and I believe I have the beauty secret the Sassoons were missing.  I am excited for the opportunity to share it with you.

So, here we go again down another road on a different sort of journey.