Grief

Sometimes I cannot escape it. It grabs me by the throat with icy fingers and squeezes while stabbing my heart with shards of glass. I cannot breathe; the pain is excruciating. I feel as if an elephant is sitting on my chest.  I panic and begin to hyperventilate. The reality--the finality--of my loss is suffocating and too frightening to bear.

Grief. It is an ugly beast that threatens the lives of those who survive. It is predatory in nature. It stalks its victim tirelessly, waiting until its prey is weakened by fatigue and sits for a moment to rest. Then it strikes with deadly accuracy. There is no escaping this monster. There is no hiding. Eventually, it finds those it seeks and reeks havoc in the heart and mind. It is inescapable, though many try through various methods to escape its deadly clutch, they only prolong the inevitable. Grief will have its prey.

I will eventually wade through this ocean. God carries and comforts me each and every step of the way. When I find that I have succumbed to my attacker, God wrestles the beast for me and provides hope for the future. For now, the journey is darkened by storm clouds that seem infinite; but at some point the clouds will break and the sun will shine on my face again.