How do I parent from a point of grief children who are
grieving? We are all stumbling through the dark trying desperately to find our
way. One child seems to be functioning quite well. Another has uncontrollable
anger and the urge to rebel. And the third child has thrown himself into a
sport he loves and refuses to discuss what happened. I am attempting to put the
pieces of our family back together when I feel completely broken and
inadequate. How do I mend something which will never again be whole?
Tears are like raindrops falling at the most inopportune times,
soaking the soul, leaving behind a muddy mess. Our pain is raw and all of us
are experiencing it in different ways on different levels. Can I allow my
children to fully grieve when I have not allowed myself to do so? How do I give
myself permission to let go and wallow in my sorrow when I know I must be strong
for the three young people who look to me for strength and wisdom? I cannot
even see past the day in front of me let alone into their futures. I am
failing. And failing at parenting is not something I can afford to do.
I look to God for wisdom, yet sometimes His words are barely
audible. Last night Haley told me that she cannot be strong although she feels
she needs to be. I told her that she does
not need to be. Her job right now is to become weak so that God can carry her
in His strength. Perhaps I need to take my own advice. God’s power will be made
perfect in my weakness. Perhaps parenting will best be accomplished when I
completely trust God to bear my burden and accomplish what I cannot.
Parenting through grief. My new “normal.” Still, I do not parent alone nor do I suffer in solitude.
Although I no longer have my partner in parenting to physically carry me
through these trials, I have my spiritual companion to lift me over every
obstacle. I need only remember where my strength comes from.
