I am stunned. My heart is broken for a 15 year old boy who
had to watch his father’s violent, senseless death. My mind races back to a day
14 months ago when my 14 year old son had to watch his father’s violent,
senseless death. And, no, the circumstances are not similar, but the loss and
heartache are. As I view the video of Cameron Sterling standing next to his
mother in his bright horizontally striped shirt, pulling up the collar to hide
his face and somehow squelch the sobs, I am overtaken with pain as I watch him succumb
to the sorrow and sob into a male relative’s arms.
Cameron, I am SO sorry!
No young man should experience this kind of pain. This next year will be
horrific as you walk through the fog of grief. You may block it from memory and
refuse to acknowledge the pain, as my son has done; or you may engage in
self-harm, as another child of mine has done. No matter what you do, the pain
will stab at your heart and sting your eyes. The void will grow larger as you
realize the gravity of your loss the next time you want to call or text your
dad and realize he’s not there. More than anything, I wish I could wrap my arms
around you and hug away the agony that grips you so tightly. I pray that
through all of this you know that you have a heavenly Father who defends the
orphan. He will be your Father and love you unconditionally. He alone
understands the depth of your sorrow. My son and I are praying for you; and
unfortunately, we know how to pray. We know what this year will look like for
you and your siblings, and that is why we will not cease our prayers.
I will say this: although Cameron and Haden are the same age
and have experienced a similar loss, it is not the same. Haden—a white male—does
not have to worry about racial profiling. He walks down the streets of the city
without fear from the police. I can honestly say that Cameron will never know
that sense of peace. How many more lives must be lost before a black man can
walk through the city with the same confidence as a white man?
