Finally Moving Forward

 

May 10, 2022—seven years since the day that catapulted our family onto a course we never would have chosen and did not want to take. It is unconceivable to most what we have endured and just how deeply that day impacted who we are. I barely recognize the woman who has emerged from the ashes, and I often wonder what Woody would think if he met me now.

However, there is something mythical about the number seven, which is often portrayed biblically as a number of perfection or completeness. Something has been shifting during this seventh year and continues to do so as we head for year number eight. I find that I am finally ready to lay down the burden I have been carrying for so long—to close the door on the trauma—and to begin life anew. I want to laugh and live with abandon. I want to love again. I am ready to be vulnerable and to demolish the walls I have so meticulously built around my heart.

Although these feelings are somewhat surreal and surprising, I cannot let fear dictate my course anymore. For too long we have been barely surviving in the shadow of fear. I am ready to walk boldly—well…maybe timidly—into the light and discover what might be waiting for me. I am in a new city with the family and friends who have carried me through the darkness and into the radiant day, and I am finally willing to embrace all that awaits and to bury the sorrow. I know the trauma will always accompany me, but no longer will I allow it to determine the course I shall take. From now on, I will allow hope to guide my way as I finally move forward.