Two years.
How is it possible? When I
consider the valley I have traversed, it is truly a miracle that I am here,
standing, and sanely remembering. There has been so much pain. My whole being
has ached with the agony of grief. I have shed countless tears—enough to fill a
small lake at least. And still they fall, intermittently, unexpected. There is
no logical explanation for them.
Occasionally, I am stopped in my
tracks as a memory clouds my view of reality. I am taken back to that day two
years ago. I am once again on that hard, granite slope frozen in fear as the
love of my life slides past me. We have locked eyes just as we did on that day
until he disappears over the ledge. I do not know in that moment that I will
never look into those caramel brown eyes again. I do not know that our lives
will be forever marked by tragedy.
Father God, I am only here at
this point in time by Your grace. You have carried me when I have collapsed in
a heap full of fear and panicked. You have patiently listened to my ranting
when my rage was directed towards You. You have held me all those nights as I
tossed and turned reliving every agonizing moment on the mountain top. When I
could not breathe as anxiety constricted my airway, You gave me peace. When I
was buried beneath a heap of sorrow, you plowed through the tears and gave me
comfort.
And now I stand at the two year
mark and wonder, “How is it possible?”
One word—God
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