“Father God, You are
my strength when I have none. You are my hope when I am done….” And so
begins my journal entry on this day, the nine month anniversary of Woody’s
death.
Some days drag on for an eternity, while others whiz by.
There is no consistency, no pattern. Therefore, there is no way to prepare for
what each new day may bring. Every morning I wake and am greeted by the same
solitude as I roll over and stare at the other side of the bed, which remains
perfectly made and cold and empty. Every day I parent alone wishing Woody were
here to have that “man-to-man” talk with Hunter about his future, a
conversation he so desperately needs right now as he flounders trying to find
his purpose in life. Every day I watch Haden mature into the man God has
designed him to be and am saddened by the fact that his earthly father is not
here to see it, knowing how proud Woody would be. And every day I see the
sorrow that lives within Haley’s blue eyes and wonder if joy will ever crowd
out the grief that has taken up residency in her heart.
Yet, through all of this God has been my one constant—my source
of strength, my only hope. I am reminded of Paul’s words to the church in
Philippi as he spoke about learning to be content in any state he found himself
to be. He knew what I now know that only through Christ can we hope to gain the
power necessary to overcome our circumstances no matter how dire.
So even today, as I mark another milestone on this journey,
I give Him praise and look to my mighty God to carry me through another day.
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